DEAR SAM : A Story of Unrequited love

Dear Sam,

            How are you doing? When we spoke on the phone yesterday, you said you wanted to know what is up with me. Well, you see, I’ve been dealing with unrequited love for some time now .Unrequited love is when you care for someone so deeply that you long for that person to feel the same for you. It is totally different from crush because while a crush is an afar thing (that is you haven’t yet known that person enough to tell ‘him’ how you feel), unrequited love is when the reverse is the case. It’s like having your heart broken even though you were never in a relationship with that person…#laughing. Some article even said it’s like getting dumped without having a ‘boyfriend’ or ‘girlfriend’. Crazy isn’t it?

Anyway, even though i could see that it would be a very bad idea to go into a relationship with ‘him’ at the moment-because he is still kinda going through some emotional tantrums and it will be so unwise to go into relationships with so much emotional baggage lurking behind because in the long run, they usually resurface and ruin the joy of it-the human (longing) part of me couldn’t help but wish he would feel the same way for me.

So i prayed.

First, i asked God to take away the feeling, “it is unnecessary”, i told Him “i don’t need it…it won’t work…it is unimportant…so please take it away…”

There was no response….

Then i got very upset…because i couldn’t understand why He would not answer me and yet make me love someone that ‘cannot’ love me in return(you see, my brain understands why he can’t but my heart cannot which is so preposterous). Stupid heart!

I told Him…”this isn’t fair. My heart can no longer handle any more heartbreak. How much heartbreak do you want me to suffer before I find love? Why can’t i be happy? Haven’t I suffered enough?  Can’t you see I will be so much happier if i don’t feel anything…take it away…Please!” I begged. Sam, you need to see how hard I wept.

Still He said nothing.

So i decided I’ll handle it my own way (forgetting i have made Him Lord over my heart). I googled and i researched on why to deal with it. There were so many articles, so many advices and suggestions and of course opinions and i tried all of them but guess what? You wouldn’t believe it. They all failed. None of them did a thing and so, i was back again… to square one; the feelings unquenched.

Well, usually every morning, i would pray to Him reminding Him that He was still in charge of my love life despite the fact that i mess up almost every time by letting my desires rule-even after every wrong decision, I’m still unsuccessful so it became clear that, that wasn’t the way- “maybe I’ve screwed up already…maybe God was punishing me”, I always thought to console myself and to help me sleep at night.

Then one morning, it came when I was reading the Bible on my PC. You see, I’ve been reading the story of David and Saul because i was curious…I wanted to know how Saul lost it…how he lost God’s glory. A preacher once said that Saul was the only person in the bible that God gave up on. #verysad.

So, In Sam 24:2…God gave His answer to the questions I’ve been asking for months by filling my heart with just one question:

“What would I want you to do?”

I knew the answer instantly…..and then suddenly; I felt the hurt wash away. The fear of ‘him’ not loving me back suddenly didn’t matter anymore. God replaced every anger, every doubt, every trouble with His peace and the truth of what love should be. So probably this is what God wants, I suddenly realized… Maybe I’m not meant to be ‘his’; maybe it is this role of true friendship I’m supposed to play in his life…Maybe this is what he needs…maybe this is what I need.

Many times, we complicate our lives by keeping God outta the one place He wants to rule….our hearts. We confuse our feelings and emotions for what we think He wants for us so He deliberately lets us go through some heartache to let us see that only He knows the way; that only He has the answer. When He said He knows the end from the beginning, I don’t think He was bluffing and I also don’t think that applies only to our daily lives, I think it also applies to our relationships with others and the yearnings of our hearts. He always has a plan and His plans are usually way better.

So, you see Sam, I’ve decided to trust Him… to believe Him…to accept His will knowing that He is the Lord of everything…everything, including my heart.

From your BFF(best friend forever)


Written by Quincy Iwediokpulu 

See more by Quincy at ©kycee’

From Summer-Ice World-

People who suffer from unrequited love many times end up confused, frustrated and dejected. Most times even feeling a sense of low self esteem because you begin to attribute inummerable reasons to your unrequited love in a bid to understand it. In some cases it drives you wild to the point that you do things you end up regretting. You are not alone. You can beat this thing. Seek counsel from the right persons,{have in mind that some times those you meet for counsel may not always provide the most helpful advise}. 

Finally{and most effectively}, go to God , and be patient as you let Him show you the way. We all don’t heal by the same treatments. If you feel no one would understand, He does, cos He’s God. So Let go, and Let God. It may take a long while, but if you follow through, in the end, you’ll be far better off for it. All the best!


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